Home Visit

Hello from TZ!

To begin I'd just like to assure you all that things have calmed down a bit at Shaloom this week. They're working on the money issues, and everyone is gearing up for our youth talent show next weekend. It will be a big fund raising event for the organization, as well as a chance for Shaloom's youth to display some of their talents and have fun.

This past week I tagged along on my first home visit. Shaloom does home visits sometimes when a client is unable to travel to see us either due to financial or medical issues. The purpose of the visit is to check in with the client and make sure they are coming along okay with their day-to-day lives. So I went with some of the staff to a house (it was actually a hut) that was a good distance away on Tuesday. The client was the father of the house, but there was also a wife and seven children. When they interviewed the man, I learned about his case history and it was really quite sad. He found out that he had HIV about two years ago after he had been sleeping with a mistress. He then proceeded to transmit the virus to his wife, who in turn gave it to their youngest child during pregnancy. She's also pregnant again right now, but is taking the drugs that help to prevent mother to child transmission.

It's very common for men to cheat on their wives here, but the difference from back home is that they rarely ever separate as a result. I'm finding out that women and children especially are not treated very well here. In talking with school children and teachers I have learned that children are still beaten horribly in school. Not just with hands mind you, but with sticks or belts. They can be beaten for being late to class, distrupting class, or even failing an exam. The children were shocked when they asked me and found out that children are not beaten in school in the U.S. However, that wasn't the saddest thing that the children were shocked to learn about our culture. They couldn't believe that men could go to prison for beating women or raping them. This happens here, and most people can't imagine it being against the law. Coming from a different culture and hearing this makes you sad and angry, but there's not a lot that anyone like me can do about it. I just hope that over time this improves. Fortunately, women are making some strides in areas like employment, where more and more women are getting jobs instead of working at home all the time.

But please don't think that all Tanzanians do these things. It would be completely wrong to stereotype the whole culture and imagine that they are always raping or beating each other. Many husbands and wives still have loving relationships, and teachers and parents still love their children. It's just that things like that tend to stick out in your mind, because it is such a culture clash. In fact, in many ways their family ties are much stronger than those in other countries. Each household is a very tight group with many extended family members living under one rough or on the same street. It is very common for parents, children, aunts/uncles, cousins, and grandparents to all live together and share responsiblities. The concept of the "immediate family" doesn't really exist, because they envision all of their extended family members to be apart of their so-called immediate family. They share money, food, shelter, and company every day. Here, the families and neighbors look out for one another day in and day out.

Therefore, I guess I'm learning that there are some ideas that can be borrowed from this culture, and things I'd like to change. But it's still a learning experience every day for me, and I'm continuing to understand a little more all the time.

-Ben